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Maybe I’ve given up
Insomuch as I’m not fighting
I have to try harder
Because you deserve better
And you think I do, too
What it’s like.
It’s like you’re only in the way
Any words you say are wrong
Like your family would be better off
If you left them alone
Anything that’s not the norm
It’s disgusting and you’re revolting
Just for liking that at all
It’s like a cacophony of mantras
Telling you to stop.
Telling you you’re nothing
Saying, “Just give up”
And when your mind
Becomes a prison
When your safe place
Crumbles down
Solace can only be found
In a broken will
That’s six feet down
I make my emotions small
In the center of my chest
Bound with tape and twine
So that they may not disturb the
Slumbering, ignorant brute
Of a conscious.
Ha! And sometimes I think,
“I should tell him more often.”
Yours
Under my skin
Under my skirt
Fingers that pinch
Teeth that hurt
Tense and relaxed
Calm and sure
A willful spirit
A harsh word
My body’s keeper
Your sole obsession
We move together
Under your direction
Bastard Girl of Some Internal Sickness
I’ve been feeling nothing but guilt as of late. Guilty for needing things. Guilty for being who I am. Guilty for not being a better partner, daughter, sister, friend.. Guilty for what I’m going to put my children through. Guilty for feeling so alone.
I know I’m in this for the long-haul with you. But sometimes it would be so much easier not to be. Not to feel like I’m fucking up someone else’s life in such a tremendous way. I’ve been a burden my entire life. It’s a stretch for me to stop being one just because I’m a little more self-sufficient.
This separation from my mother has taken an enormous toll on me. Then when I needed you, I was overbearing and drove you away. I feel unwanted and annoying all the time. And I feel guilty that I feel this way because I don’t want you to not be able to have time to yourself or to not talk with me or not do the brat/pop thing when you feel like it.
I guess everything just happened at the wrong time for us.
Everything hurt so much because, on top of feeling needy, you shut me out. You didn’t think I could handle you not wanting to be around me. This has been a problem since day one. We need to stop keeping things from each other. I’d rather just be bummed out that we’re going to stop hanging out than sped around a race track of turbulent emotions involving me being an obligatory burden.
carry me, pathless boy
love me surely and with abandon
o, mine honest and sturdy
kind and foolhardy lover
intent to break my will
It’s odd the things you take from your parents. In the 14/5 years they’ve been married, I can count the times I’ve seen them kiss on two hands. Yeah, that doesn’t sound as good as one hand, but I can go up to 8 times. I’ve seen my friends’ parents kiss more than that. In fact, the only form of affection they show on a regular basis is tickling. But my mother tickling her husband.Because I don’t think my mother is ticklish.
That’s why I like tickling you, most likely.
Photo reblogged from mostly collared women with 1,009 notes
On yearning.
Clearly, the dance on the fringe of darkness can be exhilarating. To achieve this level of fulfillment, it takes a girl who yearns to please and a Dominant who is willing to bring her to her place in an intense way.
Submissives respond best to what I call a cascade of descent. This is the dance in its purest form. First, he whispers in her ear - closing out the world beyond and focusing her in his space. Then he strips her, adding a sense of vulnerability and increasing her arousal. He collars her, riveting her with the feeling of ownership and belonging. The blindfold is next, shutting out her surroundings and focusing her on his voice, his touch, and the smells of the room. He positions her on silken sheets, adding a textural element to her service and exposing her ass, should he wish to enjoy it in some way. And then, his last command, which soaks her and makes her yearn in the worst way…..
“Open.”
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